Sunday, March 3, 2013

Getting old sucks..

I remember wanting to get older..looking forward to that 'magical' birthday that meant something (driving, drinking..but not together of course).  I definitely make sure and live every day as full as possible..thinking as positively as I can and doing everything now.  So aging for me isn't a big deal..I love life and every minute of it is great.  But watching my dogs age has been hard. 
Two days before my birthday, my heart dog and best friend had a horrible seizure that lasted more than a minute.  I've had Shiloh since 2 days after I graduated college and she was 9 months old.  now she is 15 years and 7 months (we count months now..).  To say we've been through a lot together is an understatement.
The seizure definitely took a toll on her.  For the first 12 hours she was mostly blind and barely able to walk.  We took her to the evet b/c I needed something to calm her.  They gave me Xanax which has helped.  The next day she had regained sight and can walk relatively well. She is very unstable and her right side shows significant weakness.  She still has bouts of manic excitement but not like before Sunday.  The vet says her ataxia may improve if it was just a minor brain bleed..but if it was a tumor or something that didn't will only get worse.
So far she has remained the same.  And she reminds me of the Aunt Bethany in National Lampoon's Christmas vacation.
She seems comfortable most of the time, exceptionally happy a lot of the time and knows who I am some of the time..
So now...I live every minute with her. 
Cali seems to want to spend time with her too..or maybe she was tired of all her attention and wanted to get in the middle..not sure which.
 What will I do....


What Remains Now said...

I know you will make it through this, but when the end comes, it will suck. You still have time though and that is beautiful. Our kitty is 17 years old and she was my daughter's Christmas present when she was 5 years old. My daughter is 22 years old now. I know when Twinkie dies, I will mourn her, and I anticipate that I will also mourn the breaking of that connection with my daughter's childhood. It is the blessing and the curse of a long relationship. I'm feeling for you.

Mad Red Hare said...

Oh my. It is so very hard to see our dogs age. Enjoy every moment.

Sue said...

You will live every day knowing you love her, knowing that when the time does come you will be there with her and knowing when she has gone to The Bridge, she will be waiting for you.

You are blessed to have known her all her life.

I truly hope she has more birthdays just to prove everyone wrong.

Polly and I are sending huge hugs (((Shiloh, Cali & Trina))).

houndstooth said...

We had a similar episode with Lilac. The vet called it a seizure, but I felt like it was more like a stroke. She lived two years past that, but she did have weakness in her back end afterwards. We just made sure we lived the rest of her life with no regrets. Shiloh has had a wonderful life with you, and I know you'll make the rest of it wonderful, too, no matter how much longer you have left together!

gyeong said...

Oh Shiloh, I remember when you and Parker were young, spritely, and the only pups. Running around like crazy. Parker is a bit creaky now too. Hang in there girl.

Those Brindle Kids said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Shiloh's trouble. Sending good thoughts and happy wishes to her and you.

Leigh-Emma Lion said...

Oh Trina - I am so sorry. Hugs to you all!

Hiking Hounds said...

I'm so sorry. It totally sucks when they get old. Hope you are doing okay.

Hazel said...

When our loves age or ail we suffer so much because of our love for them and what they add to our lives. It will not be easy. God doesn't promise "easy" but he does promise to get you through it.

Bless you!

IHateToast said...

that makes me so sad. i lost the last of my just-out-of-college cats a little over a year ago. they take with them the phase, you know? the last connection to that part of your life.
i took lots of private videos of me with zuni at the end. i look at them every now and then and tear up.

very sad just thinking about the inevitable.